Here is what will happen in the first year of the pandemic

Woman holding a drink at a bar alone.

It is March and I am standing behind the pine of the dive bar I work at holding a spray bottle full of sanitizer. I have cleaned everything I can think of that has ever been touched. The light switches. The doorknobs. The undersides of the stools. The skin of…

Since publishing my last set of essays, my inbox has been full of confessions from strangers around the world, telling me their stories that mirror my stories, thanking me for finding words in the catacombs of their silences, in all of our silences.

We are messy and tempestuous because we…

You are still
entirely whole,
made of all the parts of
what you have loved
even on the drive back
alone in the car, even with your
pockets full of lists of what you have
lost,
even helpless,
you are still intact

Sometimes there is just a
series of hallways
and burned…

Nina Szarka

Apocalypse carnival mistress, essayist, and animated story maker. orderoflostthings.com

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