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Nina Szarka
Nina Szarka

6.9K Followers

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Mar 16, 2021

I Think I Am Still Alive

Here is what will happen in the first year of the pandemic — It is March and I am standing behind the pine of the dive bar I work at holding a spray bottle full of sanitizer. I have cleaned everything I can think of that has ever been touched. The light switches. The doorknobs. The undersides of the stools. The skin of…

Covid-19

22 min read

I Think I Am Still Alive
I Think I Am Still Alive
Covid-19

22 min read


Nov 17, 2019

Letter to My Dog on the Eve of Her Last Full Day on Earth

You carried me for eight years, and now I am going to carry myself — I’m sorry I brought you to the city. I’m sorry we ever left the mountain, I’m sorry the last four years of your life were attached to the end of a leash, and I’m sorry I didn’t take you swimming enough when we came here. I’m sorry for that time…

Pets

6 min read

Letter to My Dog on the Eve of Her Last Full Day on Earth
Letter to My Dog on the Eve of Her Last Full Day on Earth
Pets

6 min read


Jun 13, 2019

Signs

I am listening for signs of life, listening because I don’t trust the horizon, and so much can be held in the mouth, I am biting down. Listening. My body…

Poetry

1 min read

Poetry

1 min read


Published in

P.S. I Love You

·Sep 17, 2018

Backwards

The easiest part is falling backwards and knowing already what the impact feels like, counting the moments suspended in air and bracing for the pavement because you know exactly where your ribs will crack…

Love

1 min read

Love

1 min read


Jun 10, 2018

A Note To My Readers

Since publishing my last set of essays, my inbox has been full of confessions from strangers around the world, telling me their stories that mirror my stories, thanking me for finding words in the catacombs of their silences, in all of our silences. We are messy and tempestuous because we…

Writing

1 min read

Writing

1 min read


Jun 7, 2018

I Need to Believe You Are Good

I need to believe you are good, in case this never gets better. In case there is never a resolution, in case all that is left here is silence, the kind that is thick, palpable. In case it is just ghosts. In case it someday feels like that town in…

Love

4 min read

I Need to Believe You Are Good
I Need to Believe You Are Good
Love

4 min read


Jun 7, 2018

Entirely Whole

You are still entirely whole, made of all the parts of what you have loved even on the drive back alone in the car, even with your pockets full of lists of what you have lost, even helpless, you are still intact Sometimes there is just a series of hallways and burned…

Poetry

1 min read

Poetry

1 min read


Published in

P.S. I Love You

·Jun 5, 2018

We Were Not Dating

We were not dating, you were not my boyfriend, we were beyond those sorts of commitments, we were so woke, we could transcend all those prickly, binding words. Our generation does not like definitions, we do not like to be restrained, you were not my boyfriend. We were not dating. …

Love

5 min read

We Were Not Dating
We Were Not Dating
Love

5 min read


Published in

The Junction

·Jun 4, 2018

Gods and Ghosts

I am harboring pieces of him like fugitives, stuck here, a cluster of cells and soul, and this ghost does not want to go. Inside my body it is a collection of memories, too. We made this in the dark or in the morning, he and I, each time with…

Miscarriage

3 min read

Gods and Ghosts
Gods and Ghosts
Miscarriage

3 min read


Published in

Athena Talks

·May 29, 2018

Rock Bottom

Rock bottom for a woman is sobbing in your friend’s arms, asking How did I get like this? I am so smart, I am so smart, how did I get like this when I am so smart? and…

Poetry

1 min read

Poetry

1 min read

Nina Szarka

Nina Szarka

6.9K Followers

Apocalypse carnival mistress, essayist, and animated story maker.

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